The LAEFL coaches, sidelined by the government sanctioned stay-at-home order, have launched a campaign to encourage/incite one another by selling “Woof” tickets. For those unfamiliar with the term, it is wanting to do something or go somewhere but the barking dog in your head or piped in over the sound system makes you think twice before acting. That’s what’s happening in the LAEFL this week as coaches are chomping at the bit, at the leg of chairs, at the end of the sofa wanting to get out and Crack Plastic in the worst way.

Rivalries are usually created when teams have played each other multiple times over the course of decades. Like Steelers and Browns, Redskins and Cowboys, Bears and Packers, Rams and 49ers, and Chargers and Raiders. Those teams have been at it for years. In the LAEFL, over the last several days, the “Woof” tickets have been going out from the Browns (pumpkins), Steelers (squealers), Raiders (haters), Eagles (pigeons), Jets (fly bys), 49ers (bay boys) and others. And while this reporter has listened, he knows the difference between  “Woof” tickets and the real bite that comes from the big dog.

So if you want to get in on this event the LAEFL coaches are selling, go to Wooftickets4sale.com to contribute and help encourage or incite a coach.

Steven Watts for the LAEFL Chronicle

LAEFL 2nd Gameday canceled (UFN)

As the California statewide stay at home order enters it’s 4th week, LAEFL gameday #2 was canceled until further notice. Like all others in the sports world, the LAEFL coaches are conforming to the stay at home orders and social distancing while this Covid-19 pandemic continues to ravage our state, our nation and our world. But all is not lost for the LAEFL crew as they are busy preparing for the next gameday, whenever that will be.

The Texans have adhered to the size gathering rules by holding daily practices with each squad (QB & Backs, QB & Receivers, O-Line, D-Line, LBs, & Secondary) on different days to limit the spread of the virus. Coach EMAC is determined to be ready with a healthy squad whenever the season begins.

The Browns are renovating their stadium for a home field advantage that favors the Dawgs. Coach John has supervised the work himself to ensure they have the best opportunity to win.

The 49ers and Coach Cleon have taken a sabbatical to allow his team to recover as one of their players had a dry cough and they are taking precautions. Coach Cleon will be ready as evidenced by his team’s performance on gameday 1. His new team came to play and are ready to show his next opponent.

The Raiders have taken this time to interview and sign some new players that will give them a stronger presence on the field. Coach ERob has stated “these bitches are ready to blow folks off the field”.

The Eagles, hit hard last week with flu-like symptoms, have recovered and been consulting with the Browns engineers to bring the Dawg Pound Coliseum to code. Coach Isaac says his Eagles will not have a letdown when the season begins and are set to bring the “CHIP” to Philly.

The Vikings, like the Raiders, were also recruiting and signed extra men to beef up their team. Coach Ajah has stated that the Vikings are ready to “Skol some folk” when the season starts again.

The Bill’s have all their PPE ( personal protective equipment) on are are ready to lower the boom on whoever steps onto their field. Coach Mark has said the “Bills Mafia” didn’t get their name from being in New York, but what “they do” in New York.

The Rams & Jets are laying low proclaiming they “got something for you” but not stating exactly what they got. Both Coach Anthony & Coach Shabby refused further comments when asked what you mean.

When this reporter approached the coaches of the Rams, Chiefs and Cowboys for comments, they all proclaimed loudly in unison “you’ll see us next gameday”.

The LAEFL is alive and ready to crack plastic whenever the government releases the restrictions and we all have our lives back so we can kick some opponents butt. Until then stay safe, keep your distance and we’ll see you all soon.

Steven Watts reporting for LAEFL  Chronicle


After 3 weeks of the Covid-19 pandemic/shutdown, the LAEFL coaches are more than stir crazy. With the entire country on isolation therapy until April 30 folks are anxious to break the rules and get some scrimmages in with other coaches. Solitaire games are good for a few sessions but unless you’re in a solitaire league it’s not good for the long haul.

Cheer up LAEFL coaches, you have 30 more days to hone you team and your skills before cracking plastic with another human.  Until then, stay safe, keep your distance, and reach out to family and friends to help them through this shutdown period. As the title states, this is “NO FOOL’S JOKE”,  this is life as we now live it. By the time we congregate again we’ll all be happy to see one another.      Steven Watt – reporting for the LAEFL Chronicle


3-16-2020 – With the announcement last week of the CoronaVirus being called a pandemic, the entire sports world came to a halt. This came a few days after the LAEFL held its first game day. Since then Texans Coach EMAC pronounced his team is on lockdown for next 2 weeks as they are only group practicing (Qb & backs, Qb & Receivers, O-line, D-line, LBs, D-backs) on different days to eliminate larger gatherings. It is Coach EMAC’s hope that all coaches are self quarantining and social distancing during this period of uncertainty in our country.  May everyone stay safe and healthy.

Reporting from Houston- Tex Weatherford


What’s the 2020 Buzz??

To use a line from “Jesus Christ Superstar”, “what’s the buzz, tell me what’s happening”. Well the 2020 season is coming soon and the coaches of the LAEFL are excited about the new season and new coaches that will be joining for this historic run in our 20th league season.  We’ll be inducting our first members into the LAEFL Hall of Fame (see “our first class” article by Rastahaze on August 15, 2019).

The coaches are scrimmaging in various locations to work out the kinks as well as see what else needs to be done to make their squads game/season ready.

The Browns are getting their passing game ready to match the intensity of their defense and running game to bring home their first win. The Jets are keeping their plans close to the vest as they look to blow the doors off their opposing teams’ squads. The Texans are getting acquainted with their coach’s philosophy so they’ll be ready to respond in the heat of battle. The Vikings defense is stouting up to shut down opponents offenses and blow away their defenses with more than just Kleinsasser. The Bills have already declared they are releasing the cutthroat of a running game upon the league to help Thurman blaze his way through defenses.

The Niners have declared “new year, new squad” as they gear up to blow past their nemesises of years gone by. He’s talking to you Raiders, Eagles & Steelers. The Eagles have rededicated their squad to reestablish their defensive dominance along with a running and passing attack that will not be stopped. The Raiders have added a little more thump to the defense as they move to a new arena of a black hole. Nothing that goes in will come out the same. The autumn wind will be blowing opponents every way but free. The Steelers have declared they will be more dominant than the Rams ever were and their coach is getting his men ready to carry out that charge.

The new coaches will be welcomed with open arms, but no one gets a free ride in the LAEFL’s historic 20th season.

reporting for LAEFL Chronicle – Steven Watts