Usually this time of year the LAEFL coaches would be preparing for the playoffs (in Jim Mora’s voice) playoffs. But now everyone is just trying to play a game. 5 months into the pandemic and some coaches still have not played a game. (playoffs).
These dawg days of summer have seen the Browns erect their stadium, the Vikings move from L.A., the Steelers add specialty men to their squad for the “playoffs”, the Raiders work their squad into a frenzy for whoever is next, the Bills dodging the virus for himself and his family, the Eagles constructing their stadium for a more intimidating presence, the Chiefs looking into adding more dominant players, the Rams working their squad into a force to be reckoned with, the Cowboys getting acquainted with their new team members, the 49ers making up to look like the bandits they are becoming, the Texans gearing up for the final run before their coach rides off into the sunset of life, the Jets flying high above the fray and looking to crack plastic whenever it happens and the Ravens ready to peck out somebody’s eyes as they quote the Raven nevermore.
So the Dawg days of summer are brewing and about to boil over into the fall of the year but the LAEFL crew are ready to explode whenever the pandemic allows them to meet and crack plastic in a safe environment.
Steven Watts – reporting for LAEFL Chronicle
7/11 was FUN for the coaches in the LAEFL as they gathered to strike yet another blow against the battle over COVID-19. Five coaches made the trek to Battle on the vibrating football field. When the battle ended early mid-afternoon the Steelers had taken one from the Texans. The Raiders ripped one from the 49ers and the Texans rebounded with one over the Browns.
At halftime, the coaches took a break and were treated with the foods of football (burgers and dogs and chips and drinks), and all the trimmings.
Each of the games that day was tougher than each coach thought they would be. Although the scores would seem to indicate easy, they were far from it. The Steelers and Coach Price were in control of the score the entire game, Coach EMAC’s team controlled the clock. The Texans had their opportunities, but could not convert 4th and 1. In real football as well as electric football, a yard is sometimes hard to come by. Steelers 28 – Texans 7.
Coach ERob had his Raiders clicking as they took on Coach Rasta and his 49ers. Hit after explosive hit they waged war on this battlefield. And when the final salvo was fired, the Raiders were standing with a 22- 7 “V” over the 49ers.
In the final battle in FUNTUCKY, Coach John and his mighty Browns traveled to meet Coach EMAC and his Texans in their own yard literally. When the final tock ticked, the Texans were holding the “W” tightly 23-0.
FUNTUCKY WAS FUN FOR ALL IN ATTENDANCE. 7/11 was lucky. More for some than others.
Steven Watts – LAEFL CHRONICLE
LAEFL is traveling to Fontana (long know as Funtucky) on 7/11 which is a doubly lucky day in the world of craps. Each LAEFL gameday is a crap shoot for the coaches in the LAEFL. Each coach wants that “W” in the record but sometimes you hear “O Crap” when it doesn’t go their way. When 7/11 comes this time all roads lead to Fontana and a ton of Big Time Fun.
Gear up coaches, get your men ready, get your mind ready, because the fun is coming to FUNTUCKY. You don’t want to miss out.
Steven Watts- LAEFL Chronicle
Week #5 of the statewide stay-at-home order and the LAEFL coaches have gone mostly quiet. When your life is centered around the buzz of the fields and comradeship of like minded men, and that life is interrupted by the government dictating whether you can fellowship or not because of a virus they didn’t intercept in time to stop then it causes those men to only hear the solitary sound of their own field. When compared to 4 to 7 fields operating in unison, to one field at a time, it truly is “ALL QUIET on the WESTERN FRONT”.
But having this time away from their comrades has encouraged these LAEFL coaches to go back to the drawing boards and enrich their squads with additional men, work on their future squads, fire up their tweaking juices, design new plays, develop break away threats and prepare for the next cracking plastic session.
While the buzzing cannot be heard by others in the league, the individual coach in the privacy of his own laboratory has his thinking cap on and is creating several monsters he is set to unleash upon his fellow LAEFL brothers. So LAEFL coaches, even though you can’t hear their buzz, it is loud and cranking and building and ready to explode beyond the quiet, beyond the “WESTERN FRONT”.
Steven Watts reporting for LAEFL Chronicle
The LAEFL coaches, sidelined by the government sanctioned stay-at-home order, have launched a campaign to encourage/incite one another by selling “Woof” tickets. For those unfamiliar with the term, it is wanting to do something or go somewhere but the barking dog in your head or piped in over the sound system makes you think twice before acting. That’s what’s happening in the LAEFL this week as coaches are chomping at the bit, at the leg of chairs, at the end of the sofa wanting to get out and Crack Plastic in the worst way.
Rivalries are usually created when teams have played each other multiple times over the course of decades. Like Steelers and Browns, Redskins and Cowboys, Bears and Packers, Rams and 49ers, and Chargers and Raiders. Those teams have been at it for years. In the LAEFL, over the last several days, the “Woof” tickets have been going out from the Browns (pumpkins), Steelers (squealers), Raiders (haters), Eagles (pigeons), Jets (fly bys), 49ers (bay boys) and others. And while this reporter has listened, he knows the difference between “Woof” tickets and the real bite that comes from the big dog.
So if you want to get in on this event the LAEFL coaches are selling, go to Wooftickets4sale.com to contribute and help encourage or incite a coach.
Steven Watts for the LAEFL Chronicle